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[11 Apr 2009|02:06am] |
If I'm unusually silent or out of it lately/for the next several days, it's because Sammy's been sick (again). I came home Wednesday to an apartment full of vomit, and he hasn't been eating or pooping. He's at the vet right now getting fluids, but there's a good chance he'll need (expensive) exploratory surgery, to see if he ate something.
Stupid cat.
Hopefully soon I'll get back to being in touch. I have some book reviews to write, and some poems in me (somewhere), but being stressed about my kitty cat comes first--finishing up my last work of the semester and keeping myself from totally breaking down comes second. You guys understand, right?
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[13 Jan 2009|11:55pm] |
Somewhat substantial writing up at phoebeeating. I've decided that I'm going to keep sixcylinders for following, some communities, and (hopefully rare) absolutely necessary venting sessions, but otherwise that's where my writing is going to be.
In case you need it:Atom feed here.
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| Livejournal Layoffs, and my Unexpected Reaction |
[12 Jan 2009|12:11am] |
x-posted from phoebeeating.com
I've been feeling torn about blogging (food or otherwise) lately. I think it can be a great way to keep track of one's life, which is why I've been doing it, in one form or another, since the age of sixteen. I know when I Re-launched this blog I said I was going to keep this to food only posts. This was because I thought the "pictures of Phoebe, eating" concept was pretty funny and different. I still think that. But it's resulted in a sort of feeling of fragmentation I've been on livejournal since college, on two different accounts. I have some important friendships there, but the journal itself no longer feels like a representation of myself. Back when I was on diaryland, I poured my poetic energies into entries. The shift, first to livejournal, then to my sixcylinders account, represented a refocusing on those energies: poesy went into poems, general updates into blogs. But the nature of livejournal, and one of its early draws--the friends' locked entry--has become part of the problem; I primarily use livejournal to kvetch. This doesn't feel productive in any way anymore, and I have plenty of real life friends with whom I can blow off steam. I'd rather not hide behind false fronts on the internet, would rather just say only the things I'm really, fully, comfortable in saying. I hadn't realized how conflicted I felt about livejournal until I heard about the lay-offs last week. Though I've made a lot of good online friends there, and would be sad to lose them, my primary feeling was one of relief. Perhaps this is a sign that I'm out-growing the service. For awhile, the primary draw was communities, but lately that's been totally superseded by metafilter, which represents, to me, the pinnacle of online communities. Livejournal just isn't up to snuff. I'm not sure what the solution is. I don't feel fully ready to give up sixcylinders and the friends I've made there, but I don't feel terrifically compelled to write there, either. Really, if I felt convinced that people would follow me here on an RSS feed, I would probably shift myself completely. Tonight, I read through my MFA friend Ian's blog and I really liked how he was using it--as a sort of writer's notebook, in addition as a place to hold general thoughts. Ideally, I think, that's what phoebeeating would be, but with food pictures as well. Perhaps it's just a matter of switching over and closing my eyes and hoping that the people I care about will follow.
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| Majel |
[30 Dec 2008|10:53pm] |
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| Fuck Me I'm Twee |
[08 Dec 2008|05:07pm] |
Last day of classes-I'm-taking. I got an A on my Joyce creative project and feel happy and beautiful. The colors on my walk home today were stunning, intense--clear rattling blue skies, lime green and burnt orange rusts in the trees. I have a rediscovered musical obsession: Tullycraft. I think it's impossible to listen to them and feel like all is not right with the world.
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| Annoucement |
[24 Nov 2008|11:03am] |
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I have now read Ulysses.
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| Thoughts on Democracy |
[04 Nov 2008|03:38pm] |
Listening to my peers talk about voting yesterday was uncomfortable. All sorts of statements about how only idiots would vote for McCain abounded. Don't get me wrong--I voted for Obama in the end. But I'm just amazed the smugness of that sort of statement. There might be, for example, intelligent pro-lifers. Freedom of choice is an undeniably important issue for me--the important issue, but the truth is that there are people who disagree with me, who have their reasons for disagreeing even if I don't agree with them; they're not necessarily idiots.
"People aren't voting for candidates for the right reasons" is what I hear over and over again, said about conservatives. But what's a right reason? I'm sure there are people voting for Obama for the "wrong" reasons. And that's okay. Democracy doesn't take the thought process behind the vote into account.
Tangentially, I'm disgusted by all the reports of election fraud. I've already been through this once will Hillary. I think any sort of gaming the system is totally gross, even if the founding fathers thought that vote suppression was part of the democratic process.
Naively, I think I just sort of feel like voting--however you want to vote, even if it's in opposition to how I vote, is sacred. Honestly, it even bugs me when people asked me who I voted for.
I mean, it's pretty apparent.
But at the same time, it's none of your goddamned business!
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| I love this poem |
[30 Oct 2008|09:51pm] |
The Secret Garden
by Nicole Cooley
There was a key to everything in that oak forest
But a sad one.
--John Ashberry, “The Ecclesiast”
Maybe this will be the year we stay shut
up in my room, all light excluded, and I'll read to you
by the light of a lamp shaded with my nightgown edged
in red lace. I'll feed you bread soaked in milk,
holding your shoulders like a pair of hands.
Or the week we'll spend in the sleeping compartment
of the train, crossing the country from one coast
to another and back again. Our house—the bed that folds out
from the wall, the window shade pulled down to darkness.
I want the scene at the hospital: the two of us curled
in the cot, the bed with the high white bars and the paper cup
of pills we'll swallow obediently, to lower us into the exact
same sleep each night. That sleep will be the safest place
we;ll find. The safest way we'll leave each other.
That's not how we find each other again.
It's not desire if we've moved past desire. It's collision
drawing us back when you reach for me and open my hands
to enclose you. It's not love by the golden key
from the other stories that opens the old door. The high wall protects
the interior, pumpkin seeds scattering across the grass,
the bed of nettles and bitter radishes. This is the place
where you pull me down. You lock your body over mine
and I don't break free. Where red cabbages bloom like roses,
each seed sprouting a secret, invisible heart. Our world
behind the fence excluded from the dangerous landscapes.
Our separate lives.
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[04 Oct 2008|10:58am] |
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I found a rare gem of a movie at the library yesterday, The Puffy Chair. The case made it sound like a comedy. I'm not really sure why they'd market it this way--it was one of the most realistically depressing dramas I've ever seen.
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[26 Sep 2008|03:24pm] |
First post from my tiny netbook!
Now to get my webcam and wired internet working.
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[14 Sep 2008|11:07am] |
Engaged!
More later.
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| What the hell, feet? |
[09 Sep 2008|01:36pm] |
Apparently, if I walk to school in anything other than my second hand tevas or big cushy sneakers, I get horrible blisters. I wore some slip on tweed maryjanes yesterday and got not one, not two, but three blisters. The ones on the back of my heels were bad enough that I couldn't even wear my tevas today. So I wore flipflops and drove to school. Walked across campus and promptly got a huge blister between my toes.
Argh.
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| I have Microsoft |
[07 Sep 2008|01:39pm] |
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Another day, two more people sending me .docx files with no idea how to save in any other format.
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[04 Sep 2008|08:08pm] |
So Tiff sent me a link to this photo essay recently, which is pretty nifty. And then Trekmovie.com posted a request by a Jacksonville photographer who wants to try a similar thing--"photographing trekkies in their natural habitat"--for Central Florida. So I contacted the guy, though I warned him that, because of my new mohawk, I might not have the aesthetic he's looking for.
He said that it's cool, though, and I might have something to add to the series--the mohawk is a part of me right now, right? So apparently, on Saturday (as he's going to be in town covering the Gator's game, go gators?) I'm going to be photographed in my uniform, in my habitat. Wicked awesome!
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